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LINES TO MAKE YOU SMILE
1.My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God and I didn't.
2.Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.
3.You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me.
4.Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
5.Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.
6.I'm not a complete idiot -- Some parts are just missing.
7.NyQuil, the stuffy, sneezy, why-the-heck-is-the-room-spinning medicine.
8.The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
9.Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
10.Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
11.Being "over the hill" is much better than being under it!
12.Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew up.
13.They call it PMS because MadCow Disease was already taken.
14.He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless dead.
15.Ham and eggs. A day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig.
16.The trouble with life is there's no background music.
17.The original point and click interface was a Smith and Wesson.
18.I smile because I don't know what the hell is going on.
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